The Joke That D&D Races Is Turning Into
World of Legon only has 3 major races right now. There are a few minor races like Half-Orcs, Goliath and Kenku, but they are few and far between. The following is our opinion. No reason to call us gatekeepers, or narrow minded. We have been playing for over 35 years, so in some small part we have the right to an opinion and the reasons behind it.
We have only 3 races because it makes sense. Halflings, Gnomes (coming soon though), and other races (Vedalken, Gith, Genasi, Firbolg, etc) can be fit into this campaign with little to no effort. So in the future they might find their way in, if the story line dictates it. But let’s talk about the ones that my group just can’t seem to understand why they even exist.
Any “race” that has a humanoid body and the head of an animal. It is hard for me to convey the disappointment I feel seeing any of them. Nothing more than a quick fix or something to put in a book to fill the pages. Now unless it is a spell gone bad, or some horrible experiment gone wrong, absolutely never in Legon.
Want to witness the pure laziness of creating a race, the utter nonsense of creativity? Let me list off the worst races in DnD history:
- Leonin. Human + Lion. Really? A Khajiit with fangs?
- Fairy. Nothing needs to be said here, anyone in my group wants to be a fairy gets kicked out and banned.
- Owlin. Mother****er. Human + Owl. I compare it to someone who has a deadline and didn’t know what else to do so he saw a national geographic about owls.
- Harengon. I have no words. Peter Rabbit? Whoever thought of that needs to quit their job, immediately.
- Aarakocra. Human + Eagle. See Owlin above. Why are they wasting our time?
- Kenku. See below for why I have a Kenku in my campaign.
- Tabaxi. It is a Khajiit. When is Todd Howard calling to sue Dungeons and Dragons?
- Tortle. Human + Turtle. No. Just no. I don’t need to explain why this is an absolute joke.
- Loxodon. Human + Elephant. The more I type, the worse they get. goddammit, just stop! Quit going to the Zoo when you are writing new races.
- Locathah and Grung. Fish. Now we can be fish. SMH, whatever.
A Kenku is currently in our campaign. The only one in Legon, and I am not sure I should even label him as a “kenku.” A powerful invoker, working tirelessly with the High Priestess of Finster makes a grave mistake and invokes creatures that he was slightly unfamiliar with. One of them being a Demon Messenger Crow. The magic was mixed, the invoking was spoiled and when it was all said and done, he merged with a Demon Crow. He lost his mind, and was in the wind for years… but he was found. To learn more read the adventures, it is actually pretty interesting.
There is a Goliath in our campaign as well, his name is Killian. He is one of the leaders of the Black Ward. There is a tribe or two of these semi-giants throughout the areas aside Thundrad Mountains and Iraxican. They are very rare, and can be a “playable” race if someone wants too.
Then there are the questionable races. Ones that actually have a bit of thought put into it, unlike human + animal heads.
- Dragonborn
- Genasi
- Aasimar
- Firbolg
- Lizardfolk
- Triton
- Yuan-ti
- Kalashtar
- Warforged
- Gith
- Vedalken
- Simic Hybrid
- Verdan
Then there are the races that shouldn’t be races but a sub-race. There is absolutely no reason why they are a stand alone race. A changeling or a shifter should almost be an affliction (curse or blessing) to someone, and not a race. The more I read about them, the more I realized that these do not have the makings for an entire race. So another fail on the DnD5e people who wrote this up.
Finally, the old stand-by’s that were once just monsters, are now playable races:
- Centaurs
- Minotaur
- Goblins
- Hobgoblins
- Orcs
- Bugbears
- Satyrs
- Kobolds
I would have a hard time saying “no” to any of those, but still, not a huge fan. They are at least lore friendly and can produce some interesting back stories as well as plotlines.
Finally…
Don’t get me wrong, if you and your campaign wants any and all races included; more power to you. I have no complaints about that and if it makes it better and more enjoyable I condone it 100%.
But the opposite side of the coin is what my group likes. Races that make sense, that are not a creation of someone smoking crack and ones that can fit into the story lines well. Having an elephant man running around? Just even typing that makes me shake my head and scoff.
I might be a “gatekeeper” as some ignorant people call me, but I have a history of D&D from 1986 and I feel that gives me a bit of freedom to have this opinion.
Lastly, it is just that, an opinion. It is mine and my groups. If you don’t agree with it, that is fine, but this is my site, my campaign and our opinions are king here.