1. three stooges: Bottom line, you only lose your turn, but DM creative can take hold. Something comedic, slip and looks like a dance move, hit themselves slightly in the nuts, cinematic fail that only results in the turn lost.
2-3. Drop weapon: You dropped something you needed or otherwise screwed up. Roll 1d12 to determine distance in feet. Your item gets kicked by someone in the direction and distance indicated. Lose (2) rounds to retrieve the weapon, lose just one to grab another weapon.
4-5. Weapon hit: Something. Your weapon gets stuck in your opponents armor or shield or wall or floor or ceiling or that desk over there etc. Roll a strength save roll to unstick.
6. Pulled muscle: You forgot to stretch before combat today. You pulled an upper body muscle and are -1 to attack until a cure spell is applied to you or 3 days pass. This penalty does stack if you get it again. Your chance to score a second critical fail also increases by 1 each time you get this due to your injury.
7-8. Wild swing: You put a lot into that swing. You missed and stumble slightly. 50% chance you hit an ally, (1-3 1d6) You are also at -2 to your AC until your next turn.
9. Broken item: A random fragile item in your inventory gets broken. Potion, wand, or any other breakable item. Count how many you are carrying and roll randomly.
10. Trip: You lose your weapon when it goes flying from your hand. Your arrow, spell or weapon goes flying at a random target. Make a ranged attack at -4 and let see what happens.
11-12. Oops, bad move in general: Your round is over. Whatever you tried to do, didn’t happen.
13. Regretting tacos: Stomach churning, butt cheeks clenched. Roll 1d100.
1-25 Just a squirt, leaking.
26-50 grease your drawers, pee.
51-75 Pretty decent crap sack.
76 – 100 daily double, congrats. You get both above results. It’s a mess.
All other combatants move slightly farther away from you
14. Hiccups: Hiccups. -1 to hit for 3 rounds.
15-16. Dirty fighting: You get dirt or dust in your eyes, or that orc tosses feces into your face. You are -2 to attack and any attacks on you get +2 for 1 full round.
17. Wardrobe malfunction: You didn’t tie your armor on properly or that last near hit cut a strap. -2 AC until fixed. Or your cloak or bracers or boots or some other item that is tied on, comes untied. Roll 1d20 at the possible item. 20 – being helm, hood, 1 being shoes and boots.
18. You trip and fall: You stumble AND fall. Opponent gets a free attack, +4 to hit, Double damage.
19. Boink, you hit, yourself?: Your weapon slips, an opponent moves the wrong way, or blocks you so well it bounces back “in yo face.” Roll 1d4 for self damage.
20. Pray to your God: Something bad happened, kind of really bad. Up to the DM discretion.
Ranged Weapon
1. Weapon Break. Throwing a spear? Breaks in half. Shoot a Bow? The bow splits in two. Crosbow? Trigger mechanism fails.
2. Phantom shot. Pull back the bow and fire, only to have the shaft shift, the bow twangs, but the arrow falls to the ground. Similar fails.
3-4. Slippery when wet. Your footing is off, the shot is all but lost.
5-7. Down in front! A miscue ranging from footing, to just a bad shot. The projectile hits something other than your target.
ROLL 1d20
1-5 Another opponent, if applicable.
6-10 Inanimate object; wall, door, window, etc.
11-18 Your ally, doing half damage.
19 Your ally, doing full damage
20 Your ally, doing double damage.
10. WTF? You launch a comically bad projectile attack nowhere near your intended opponent – DM Discretion as to results and actions.
D100 “Fumbles” (Effect Triggers on a Natural 1 only on the first attack roll.)
- You hit yourself in the head so hard you can only speak backwards. This can be undone by hitting yourself on the opposite side of your head once as an action.
- You suddenly forgot how to do anything. At all. You lose any bonuses to skill checks until you take a full round action to sit down.
- You bite your tongue and can now only speak like that until you drink some water or put some ice on it.
- You caught on fire. Don’t ask me how. You stop being on fire as soon as you use an action to roll on the floor. You take a point of damage for every turn you don’t do so, but any enemy you hit takes an additional 1d4 fire damage.
- You forgot how to breathe for a second. Roll a constitution save or take 1 point of damage.
- You forgot what you were fighting about and you have to use your next bonus action to try and persuade the enemy to lay down arms.
- You’re incredibly hungover. Roll with disadvantage on all intelligence checks until you have a sip of water or booze.
- You rubbed your eye too hard and now everything is just a bit blurry. Roll with a 5% miss chance.
- You stubbed your toe. You can only speak in swear words for 1d6 rounds.
- You have a tummy ache. Your next attack roll is now projectile vomitting. On a hit the target is poisoned (1d4 rounds) but takes no damage.
- Your pants fall down. Roll a charisma save (dc 8), on a fail you’re embarrassed and have to use one hand to cover your junk, on a succes you get advantage on your next attack. Big dick energy!
- There’s something in your teeth and it is quite distracting. You cannot bite an opponent until you use a move action to remove it.
- You’re distracted by a bug, you have to spend an attack trying to get rid of it.
- You’re trying to impress your friends! Every roll you make that is above a 15 is now considered a Critical hit, but every roll you make below a 5 is now considered a miss. For one round.
- There’s a pebble in your shoe. A -5ft to speed until you remove it as a move action.
- You have a song stuck in your head. Disadvantage on perception checks until someone changes the music.
- You lose a shoe in the heat of battle. No real negative effect here just remember to pick it up when you’re done.
- You trip on something crashing into your opponent. Roll 1d6 damage instead of your actual damage.
- You are daydreaming! Your opponent gets an attack of opportunity at disadvantage because they try not to wake you.
- The gods must be messing with you because your weapon suddenly feels very heavy. Your next attack is made with disadvantage but does double damage on a hit.
- You think your opponent might be a long lost family member. Attack someone else on your next turn just to be safe.
- There’s a hole in your wallet! You lose 5gp.
- You get sunlight/moonlight in your eye. You cannot take a reaction this round.
- You’re starting to feel a bit chilly. Disadvantage on survival checks until you put on a coat or run in place for a move action.
- You remember a funny joke and have to immediately tell your friends. If you cannot think of a joke in 10 seconds you lose the rest of this turn.
- You see a coin lying on the ground. You can use 5ft of movement to pick it up. You gain a gold piece.
- You suddenly feel like there’s a being out there controlling your every action through the roll of a die. Lose inspiration if you have any, gain inspiration if you don’t.
- You drop something. Not something you’re holding just something from your belt or pack.
- You hit yourself in the nuts. You can’t have sex for 1d4 days.
- Turns out you’ve actually been sleepwalking this entire fight. You regain 1d4 hit points because you had a nice nap. Still misses though.
- You suddenly feel a weird attraction to the creature closest to you. Give them a compliment.
- Your heart stops for a second. Which freaks you out. Make another attack roll but with disadvantage.
- You miss so bad you take emotional damage: Blind rage, irrational fear, severe crying fits, extreme exhaustion, manic laughter or an intense peace that makes you want to stop fighting. Your emotional issues can be fought off by a successful Wisdom save or by a companion giving up all action for one turn to comfort/reason with you. Your DM decides if your condition actually does anything.
- You feel personally offended by the opponents unwillingness to die. Your next attack must be an unarmed attack.
- You become obsessed with a pebble lying at your feet. You’re not opposed to moving it, but you will fight even your party members to keep it within arms length of you. A party member touching it will cause you to lash out irrationally. This lasts for 1d6 days.
- You hit yourself in the nose which starts bleeding uncontrollably. You take 1 point of non lethal damage on each of your turns until you take a minute to stop the bleeding.
- You find a copper piece in your pocket! Sweet! Attack still misses though.
- You’re trying too hard to be cool. Your next critical hit this session becomes a regular hit.
- You’re not trying hard enough to be cool. Your next hit becomes a miss.
- You forgot how to do your job. You lose a random class ability of your choice for the rest of combat..
- You suddenly feel a loss of interest in one of your hobbies. You lose proficiency in a skill, but hey, you gain it in a new one!
- You almost knock yourself out but in your daze you suddenly remember your enemy’s weak point. 1d4 points of damage to yourself and your next attack gains advantage. (If the enemy has any vulnerabilities you learn those too.)
- You feel like luck just isn’t on your side today. You cannot bring this opponent below 1 hp unless you’re fighting alone.
- Your breastplate was taped to your chest with ductape and rope. A piece of it falls off. You gain a -1 to AC. Unless you’re not wearing armor, in which case where did this piece of breastplate come from?!
- Your attack lands but just sort of feels like a slap in the face rather than a mortal wound. You deal non lethal damage instead
- You don’t remember how to function properly anymore. One ability score of your choice becomes a 4 until the end of combat.
- Your weapon is no longer sharp enough. It now does bludgeoning damage. Until you sharpen it or cast mending on it.
- Your hair got tussled in the skirmish, you can not take any actions until you specifically describe you fixing your hair (this does not require any actions).
- Your sheer power of will turns you immune to magic, good or bad, until the end of the combat.
- You break out in Goblin Pox. They don’t do much but you now look even more hideous! Disadvantage on persuasion check but advantage on intimidate checks for 1d4 days. This disease is highly contagious and anyone within 5ft of you must make a con save (dc 8) or be infected.
- Your weapon bends and warps on impact, it now does slashing damage until you mend it or cast mending on it.
- A piece of your weapon breaks off in a weird way, it now does piercing damage until you mend it or cast mending on it.
- Your attack tears a rift in the realm, unleashing the magic within. Roll on any random wild magic table (determined by the GM) and take that effect.
- The handle of your weapon smashes into something on your belt. Pick one item from your inventory, it is now broken until you repair it or cast mending.
- Your allies overwhelming display is overshadowing your efforts. Your enemy will try to attack someone else on its next turn, looking for a real challenge.
- You have a terrible streak of bad luck. Your next attack hits automatically but does minimum damage.
- The hilt of your weapon comes loose so you have to hold on to the blade, you take 1 point of damage every round you decide to take the attack action until you use a move action to screw it back on.
- You peed your pants, the enemy can’t stop laughing at you. Take 1d4 points of psychic damage, but your next attack has advantage.
- You get a bit dizzy from swinging your weapon around so much. You gain 2 stages of exhaustion until the start of your next turn.
- You twist your ankle, you cannot take the dash action until you are magically healed or take a short rest.
- You dislocate your shoulder. You have a -1 to hit until you use a move action to pop it back into place.
- You very loudly cry out in anger as you attack. Alerting any enemies within 100ft of your presence.
- You break a nail. It’s not too glamorous but it’s not worth any penalties.
- You have a booger stuck in your nose and it’s really annoying. You have disadvantage on perception (smell) checks until you use a bonus action to remove it.
- You’ve got some goop in your eye, you have disadvantage on perception (sight) checks until you use a bonus action to remove it.
- You have some wax build up stuck in your ear, you have disadvantage on perception (hearing) checks until you use a bonus action to remove it.
- The constant sparks and splinters erupting from the heat of battle have gotten into your eyes so many times now. No immediate effect but you will need glasses in 2d10 years.
- The constant roars and clattering of metal that happen in a fight have affected your hearing. You hear a slight buzzing sound at all times, not enough to affect your stats though.
- Heh. Your mind went to a dirty place for a minute. You have disadvantage on any wisdom or intelligence checks for 1 minute.
- You’re having a pretty bad day so far, and it’s only getting worse. You have disadvantage on charisma checks until you do something that would make your character happy.
- Today is your lucky day! You can pass this fumble off to a player of your choice. They can roll again.
- Instead of hitting your opponent you gently caress their cheek. Roll a d100, on a 90 or higher they fall in love with you and will no longer attack you or your allies. They will however not leave you alone.
- Your attack hits your opponent’s shield or armor so hard anyone besides the two of you within 5 feet take 1 point of thunder damage.
- You’re feeling a wee bit feverish. Disadvantage on constitution saving throws until the start of your next turn.
- A mailmen arrives bearing an important letter for your character. The DM can decide what it says, and why there is a mailman there.
- You forgot something important but can’t for the life of you figure out what it was. Pick a class ability of your choice, you cannot use it or benefit from its effects until the end of combat.
- Your shoe/foot is stuck to a piece of goo. You take a -5 to movement until you use an action to remove it.
- You get some of the enemies blood in your mouth. The DM can decide if that has any particular effect, depending on the creature and whether or not it’s a carrier of diseases.
- A fly flies into your mouth, roll a dc10 constitution saving throw, on a fail you cannot use any reactions this round as you choke on this tiny critter.
- You remember something embarrassing from your past. You have disadvantage on charisma checks for the rest of the day.
- Your attack misses so badly it hits something else instead! Your attack hits any other enemy within reach. If there are none, though luck.
- “You are a failure and you should feel bad.” Just read that aloud to the player who fumbled. They’ll know.
- You open up an old wound, your clothes are now soaked in blood. You should probably wash them, or change.
- Your attack didn’t just miss, it SUPER MISSED! If you have any other attacks this turn, they all miss too.
- You were caught off guard by your swing not hitting the target. You have disadvantage on any strength or dexterity based checks until the end of combat.
- Your training has fallen short and you get discouraged. You gain one level of exhaustion.
- Your attack hits but it’s just a love-tap. You do exactly 1 point of damage.
- You trip, your weapon comes down hard upon your opponent, dealing regular damage, but you are now prone.
- If you brought snacks to this session you can use that to buy off your DM. Your miss was actually a critical hit! No snacks? Just a miss then.
- Your weapon comes down hard on the floor, shaking the room or surroundings. Any vases, pots or flasks not on a person within 30ft of you break.
- Your wrist is starting to ache from all this fighting. You can not add any Strength or Dexterity modifiers to damage rolls until the end of your next turn.
- You swing to wide and your face hits the opponent’s armor or shield. You lose 1d4 teeth.
- Your mind wanders to happier times when you weren’t fighting for your life. You have disadvantage on wisdom saving throws until the start of your next turn.
- You see a spider perched on your shoulder. You are frightened until you use a move action to remove it, or a bonus action to smash it.
- Your weapon appears to have a Mind of its own today! You have disadvantage on attack rolls with this weapon until the end of your next round. Or until you switch weapons.
- Trial and error has led you to the conclusion that you’re making a lot of errors. So maybe more trial? Reroll your attack.
- Your hand slipped. You drop your weapon.
- You misstep as you swing, you move 5 ft. Backwards (not provoking attacks of opportunity.)
- Buddy you are just the clumsiest of adventurers. Roll twice on this table and take both results.
- You’ve learned from your mistakes, hardened through failure. Everyone gains a level and this fumble is now removed from this list, after which this number does nothing.